Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Santa Claus Is Comin' To Town: An Essay

“Come out!”

“Come out of your houses!”

A muffled voice over the loud speaker immediately grabs my attention, as I race to the dining room window to see what’s going on. I peek through the blinds, my heart pounding, as I look upon the snow-laden streets outside our apartment.

I’m scared, I think to myself, as my heart rate increases. It sounds like police shouting for someone.

I can’t make out where the sound is coming from.

My mind takes me back to a few years ago, in 2012, when Ken and I were living in the U-district in Seattle, labeled thus for its proximity to the University of Washington. I was home alone, listening to the news on the radio. I had just heard about a shooting a few blocks away from where we lived. Five people were shot at the little café I walked past on a daily basis.

“Stay inside your homes and call the police if you see the shooter,” continued the report.

The shooter was loose in the streets.

Lord, help me. Please keep us safe, I prayed, as I drew the blinds, locked and re-locked the doors – finishing with the deadbolt before jumping into bed, to hide under the covers, at which point I then called my older sister and texted friends. Ken was in class at the time.

What do I do if someone knocks at the door, God-forbid? I obsessed.

Not long after, I heard on the news that the shooter had been found downtown. The scene ended grimly.

That memory still haunts me. It’s been three and half years and we are now living in the quaint town of Pullman, in Eastern Washington. A 90-minute commute from Spokane, Pullman is home to Washington State University and a year-round population of 30,000. Not bad for a small town, but not giant either. Residents are welcoming and friendly, not in that creepy sort of way, but in a genuine, authentic sense. The town’s landscape is like an oasis of evergreen trees sandwiched among hundreds of miles of wheat fields dotted with charming red barns and rusted farm equipment. It’s idyllic, and homey, and the kind of place where you’d want to raise a family.

But when I heard that sound of yelling over the microphone the other night, I immediately expected the worst. My body went into lockdown-fight-or-flight-kickass-mom-mode, mentally preparing for some sort of shootout on the streets. 

Mind you, after living in Seattle for four years, where I experienced multiple run-ins with violent and mentally unstable people on the streets, Ken and I relocated to Anchorage, Alaska, hoping to get away from the hustle and bustle of the city. Wanting at best, a safe place to raise a family, where we could set down roots. It wasn’t until moving there that I found out that Anchorage is one of the most dangerous cities in the U.S., according to Forbes, with a crime rate that rivals any of the major cities where you’d expect that sort of thing. That surprised me.  

I’m reminded that you can’t really escape violence in any part of the world, these days. There’s so much pain, all around us.

Peering out into the dark winter night, I wondered, How could I protect my family if something bad were to happen? If someone bad was out there? In many ways, I feel an even greater burden and sense of longing for safety for my baby girl – a desire I never felt so strongly in the past – for the world around her to be a safe place.

“Come out! Come out of your houses!”

I instantly see a figure emerging from the darkness. A large truck towing a sleigh with a jolly ol’ Santa Claus, rounds our corner street.

“Ho-Ho-Ho! Merry Christmas!” He shouts.

I let out a long, nervous laugh.
And with that, my faith in humanity is restored.


+++

You better watch out
You better not cry
You better not pout
I’m telling you why

Santa Claus is comin’ to town

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