Exactly one year ago to the day, I sat down at Ken's Acer laptop and began typing. Took, took, took--went the rhythmic melody of my fingers tapping against the keyboard. Here and there, a brief pause to readjust a word or a sentence or thought. Just like today. I woke up two hours prior to my alarm clock and was ready to get moving, thinking and doing.
365 days have passed since I started writing in this online journal of sorts. Broken down, that's 12 months with 48 published posts and 15 unpublished entries. Almost one post per week. For me, this form of commitment seemed daunting in retrospect but as Benjamin Franklin once said: "Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing." When words for stories were absent, I lived my life. Those experiences created the perfect backdrop for each and every post.
And to be honest, I wasn't sure if anyone would read this. Thank you. It means so much.
To my friends and readers who continue to bless me with letters of encouragement ("to keep writing!") and emails of affirmation ("I can relate to your story"), I am feeling more confident in my desire to be a person who is vulnerable, transparent and authentic. Contrary to society's expectation that we have to "put on a good front" and "be strong," I am learning to live against the grain. I am choosing to be imperfect. I am admitting my weaknesses and rejoicing in God's strength.
When I started this blog on January 23, 2012 (read it here), I hoped to live into God's calling to be a person of thanks. Psalm 50:23 was my guide: "He who sacrifices thank offerings honors Me." At that time, I felt myself becoming increasingly distracted in regards to my need for Christ. I wanted to set the tone right for the year ahead, and begin by giving thanks. In one year, Ken and I have seen many changes, which you can read about on our blog. Some good, many very difficult. But God carried us through this past year with a sense of reverence--respect for who God is (our Provider, Healer, Hope) and how His involvement in our story changes everything.
This morning, I find myself meditating on the words of Proverbs 31. They talk about 'a wife of noble character.' Even before I met my husband, I was always drawn to the pictures these words create and bring to mind: "She is worth far more than rubies...her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value...she opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy." The poem-like structure continues: "She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue." As I embark upon a new year of sharing life with you (my husband, my friends, my family, my readers), I want these verses to mold and shape me. I want to learn what they mean and explore their merit.
Thank you for joining me in this process.
I will continue to give thanks.