7 Months!

As I sit down to write this, I realize that it's late November. Baby girl is already 7 1/2 months old! My sweet and active daughter is more than halfway to her 1st birthday! How am I so behind on realizing this? I think to myself.

Perhaps it has something to do with the Big News that we announced last month? And us needing to pack up our whole house in a matter of days...and having to list our house for sale...and all those house renovations...oh, and our long-awaited trip to visit my family in Hawaii? Yes to all of the above. This past month has been ridiculously intense. Ken got a job offer in Eastern Washington the day before my 30th birthday (read about that here), and within a few weeks, we were packed and headed to Hawaii for vacation, en route to Washington for this next chapter in our journey.

And somewhere, in the midst of all these changes, Ruby turned 7 months old. Bubs is learning and growing in extraordinary ways, with each passing day.

Here are some of Bubs' latest milestones:

• She can almost crawl !!!
• She can rollover both ways and when she can't reach a toy, she rolls over to it.
• Bubs can say "Da-da!" and "Hi!" and "Ok!" She also looks at Daddy and smiles when I say "Da-da" more often than not. 
• She has said "Ma-ma" or "Mah-mee" a couple of times, but doesn't say it nearly as much as "Da-da!" (So, I'm not counting it yet as a real word. Hehe.)
• Bubs can sit up on the floor (without support) for longer periods of time. 
• She can also stand, with support, and almost pull herself up to standing position by holding on to me.
• Bubs can recognize her name! She loves it when I call her "Ruby" or "Baby Girl."
• Baby girl loves to smile and chat with just about anyone friendly who gives her attention.  
• She has tried lots of new solid foods in the past few weeks (such as green beans, rice, carrots, sweet potato, bread, chicken, peas, and poi) and likes most of them, while continuing to nurse full-time. 
• She still loves her jumperoo and bounces happily in it each day. Just this weekend, Ken moved her jumperoo to the highest height setting. (I'm not sure what we're going to do when she grows out of this!)
• Baby girl's eyes are currently hazel colored (greenish-brown toward the center and blue around the outside.)
• At Ruby's 6-month checkup, she was in the 92nd percentile for height and weighed around 18lbs - so healthy and strong. I'm looking forward to seeing her measurements at next month's checkup! 
• Last but not least, baby girl seems to be teething again! I can just barely see her top two front teeth trying to break through the gum-line. Her baby teeth are so cute!

Ken and I praise God for our little lady. She's so full of joy. Her middle name means "reflection of the Sun/glistening moonlight." That, she is.

Here's a video of our baby girl's contagious laugh. Click here to watch. And one more video of Ruby's first time swimming in the pool with my Dad, Ken, and me on Maui.

And before I head out, here are some of our latest pics. :)

Baby Ruby: My Birth Story

What are some defining characteristics about my birth story? I think to myself, as my legs tremble slightly and a rush of heat glides across my cheeks and forehead. The muscles in my abdomen tighten, as I glance down at my now much flatter stomach. A deep surge of pain radiates through my lower right side, and I’m reminded of my surgery – being hoisted onto a brightly lit operating table, with a huge team of medical personnel poised for action, focused and attentive, as my family practitioner facilitated each cut, each movement, and extremely quick extraction of my baby girl from my womb.

Pressure, they said I’d feel pressure and no pain. The surgeons and nurses briefed me, in what felt like seconds, on what I could expect as I was wheeled into the operating room. It was an emergency C-section, and my situation had just bumped the lady who had been waiting to go into surgery before me. In less than 30 minutes from start to finish, I heard baby Ruby’s first loud cry – as if Heaven and Hell were being shaken, and watched as she was immediately carried to a warm baby incubator station to my left. Whisked over to her by a nurse, Ken observed as Ruby was cleaned and suctioned, and got to help cut her umbilical cord.

Without delay, she was brought to me for a moment, and I started crying. Ruby is so beautiful, I whispered, as I fought to control my emotions.

Shaking, I couldn’t stop shaking. A sweet nurse clutched my hands as I said good-bye to Ken and baby Ruby, who were then taken to the recovery room, while my body was sown back up. My eyes caught a flash of light reflecting off the mirror above my head and I could just barely make out the scene taking place below the giant blue wall of sterile curtains.

I cringed, and looked away.

“Water, I need water!” I begged the hospital staff, as multiple blue-coated, facemask-donned workers passed to my right and left.

“You must wait, I’m so sorry,” each person replied, as I became increasingly agitated and desperate.

“I’m going to throw up. I feel so sick. Please just a drop,” I instinctively bellowed, in a Hail Mary attempt to gain access to any form of hydration.

I instantly started dry heaving, as my body went into shock, while a nurse grabbed me a small plastic container to catch throw up. My stomach was completely empty, except for a few small drops of saliva. Those were now in the plastic container.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Thoughts swirled above me, caught up in the mix of incredibly white fluorescent light shining on my face. Unsure if I was dreaming or delirious, I thought back over the last 24 hours.

Just yesterday, I had checked into the hospital as a labor induction. Baby girl was nearly two weeks past due and at my doctor’s urging, along with a peace that it was time to ‘get things moving along,’ my husband, my friend Alisa, and my mother-in-law accompanied me, as I prepared for what I hoped would only take the day. The doctors were aware of my desire to move through labor as “naturally” as possible. I had met with them for the past 9+months and they understand how earnestly I desired a normal, vaginal birth for baby girl. Because of that, my Doctor began by breaking my water at 10 a.m. in hopes of getting contractions going. By 2 p.m., I was still only dilated to about 3 cm, so I was given my first IV and slowly fed Pitocin, which mimics the body’s Oxytocin hormone, and hooked up to an electric baby-monitoring device. My pain gradually intensified although by the evening, I still had not dilated any further. My Doctor then inserted a contraction monitor into my uterus, to pinpoint the strength of each contraction. By using that device, the nurses were able to up my Pitocin level to a higher level.

My pain continued to grow, as I moved through contractions 1 ½ to 2 minutes apart that registered as ‘very strong’ on the monitor.

This really hurts, I thought multiple times, as I focused on breathing and relaxation techniques, exercise, and rest. By early morning, I was only about 5 cm dilated with a fever rising from an infection now plaguing my body. Since my water was broken so early the previous day, bacteria got inside my uterus and was making it harder for baby girl to be comfortable and safe. Multiple times, the nurses asked me to breathe into an oxygen mask, hoping to assist my baby through the stress of labor. Her heart rate would drop intermittently, in spurts, and that completely freaked me out.

My desire to labor naturally quickly diminished after realizing that baby girl was not coming out. Something was wrong, and I was scared for her. I needed to protect my precious little girl, and at the bidding of the night nurse, I finally decided to get an epidural in hopes of relaxing my body enough to continue dilating. Those few hours of relief from the intense pain allowed me a few short moments of rest and quiet. Ken held me in bed, as I questioned what was going on with my body. I cried out to God and asked Him to please keep my baby safe, at all costs. I was willing to do anything.

A few hours later, my Doctor came in to consult with me. It was a little past 7 a.m. and I still had not gained any ground in dilating. My body was exhausted; I was feverish, and unable to move through the labor process.

I broke down crying - those sobbing, hysterical cries that reflected the intense disappointment deep within my heart. Failed expectations. Grief over what I could not control. Fear over what comes next.

“Yes,” I resolved, giving all I that I had left to say those words. “I will do whatever it takes to get baby girl out safely. I’m ready for a C-section.”

---

It’s been a little over a week since my beautiful baby girl Ruby greeted this world. Every day I feel stronger, and better able to work through my feelings about how things went while at the hospital.

My battle scars are slowly fading, as I trace the outline of three separate IV sites on my left arm, place my fingers on the remaining surgical tape below my belly, and wean myself off my prescription narcotics for pain. I spent six days in the hospital, as both baby girl and I underwent rounds of antibiotics. At one point, my initial infection seemed under control and then suddenly I had another separate infection. My Doctor put me on three different antibiotics and ran all different tests to rule out other causes. It was all very uncomfortable.

But I can say without any doubt in my mind that my baby was worth fighting for. Everything I experienced, in labor and post-delivery, paled in comparison to the incredible joy of holding the most beautiful child in my arms. Nursing her and cuddling her, and speaking words of life over her. Her delicate features are breathtaking. Ruby’s soft, delicate skin and her long eyelashes. Her medium brown hair and grayish-blue eyes. Her ever-changing facial expressions. The way she immediately responded to my voice that first time, and every subsequent time, when I’ve tried to comfort her.

Pain took on a completely new meaning for me through the birth of my baby. I didn’t get the ‘picture-perfect’, Pinterest-worthy birthing process that I so earnestly longed for. All the natural birthing books that I diligently read and studied, didn’t apply when I had to make the decision to have a C-section. Likewise, all the stories from other women about how they navigated their own labor, faded into the background, as I walked through my very own story of labor and delivery.

And this is how it had to be.

These past couple weeks, I’ve grown in ways that I can’t easily describe. God walked with me through some of my deepest fears and I came out on the other side. Stronger and better equipped, perhaps, to handle setbacks – believing in faith that God knows what’s best for me. Although I’m still struggling to do many of the normal tasks that many mothers are able to do right away (such as driving, lifting more than 10lbs, cooking, cleaning), I want to give myself extra grace in that I’m recovering from major surgery.

My body and my heart are healing. And that’s OK.

I’ve been blessed more than I could ever imagine with the gift of stewarding a little human. Baby Ruby is a treasure, an example of God’s rich love for me. She is healthy and strong, and full of life. I praise God for her, and for the unique story of her birth.

My hope is that Ruby will grow to recognize that there is hidden beauty in unmet expectations, and that life is worth fighting for.

I fought for her, and I’d do it again in a heartbeat.

Surprise Visit from Brothers!

Last weekend, we hosted some unexpected guests (well, unexpected for Ken that is)! His brothers Aaron and Chris flew out to Anchorage from across the country and surprised my husband for his 30th birthday. Ken had no idea his older brothers would be stopping by and the look on his face when Aaron walked up to him late Friday night was priceless. I had taken Ken to the airport for a late-night frozen yogurt run on Halloween and thankfully, our favorite yogurt joint is only located there at the airport (so it made sense). After eating our ice-cream-like treats, Aaron and I stalled while we waited for Chris to arrive. Unfortunately, his flight was delayed by an hour. Just as Ken was starting to wonder why were still at the airport (when we could instead finish our conversation in the car on the way home), Chris walked up. Perfect timing. Together, we spent the weekend connecting with family over shared meals, cooking together, playing board games, watching movies, and hanging out by the fireplace, with several cups of coffee, cookies, and pieces of chocolate consumed over their four-night stay.

The adventures that stand out most to me during their stay were:
1. Going to Chuck E. Cheese's and playing skee-ball for at least an hour on Saturday night, along with other video and tactile games. (Those 10- to 15-year-olds who took up the bulk of the play center couldn't compete with our A-game.)
2. Sliding along and playing near the edge of the the mostly-frozen lake near our house, watching the guys throw boulders and trees at the ice, trying to break through it. (Yes, we were cautious and didn't do anything dangerous.)
3. Dinner with Ken's parents, G'ma, and extended family at a delicious Thai restaurant (thanks again to Aaron for sharing his panang curry - yours was the best dish out of everyone's.)
4. Home-cooked Indian Dinner made by the guys on Monday night. I love garlic naan!
5. The blessing of having close family in-town. It was great hanging out and playing with the laser-point thermometer Chris bought for Ken, watching the guys roast coffee together, and beating them all at the board game Blokus! (Ok, I actually tied with Chris for the win, so we both won...)

On Saturday afternoon, Ken's parents and brothers blessed us by going grocery shopping and stocking our nearly empty fridge with fruits, vegetables, meats, snacks, and the best cheddar cheese. Thank you so much for your generosity! I felt extremely encouraged by this loving gesture, and continue to enjoy the things you picked out for us. I don't think we've ever had such a full fridge before. What a blessing.

Here are a few photos of our time with Ken's brothers, mostly taken at the frozen lake near our house. We already look forward to the next family reunion!

P.S. We were approached by multiple dogs at the park. They seemed to gravitate toward us anytime we were taking photos. Haha.

The Alcan: Our Journey to Alaska from Seattle via Alberta

3,000 miles or just under. That’s the distance my husband and I, along with one of my best friends, traveled in about one week on our way from Seattle, Wash., to Alaska—the state we now proudly call home. Upon returning to Seattle from our month-long ‘Europe Tour,’ Ken and I rented a U-Haul moving truck, loaded up all of our belongings from the past three years of marriage, and hit the road.

My friend Jenn joined us for this epic adventure. She took the train to Seattle from Portland, Oregon (near her hometown), and met us at our U-Haul location with a military issue duffle bag, camping supplies, and an incredible sense of adventure. We were ready for the long trek ahead and set out early Friday morning, the last week in July.

Looking back, I’m still blown by the natural beauty of Glacier National Park in Canada. The windswept mountain peaks and jagged cliff faces were breathtaking. Likewise, the contrast between roaring glacier-fed rivers and placid, emerald streams provided an awe-inspiring backdrop for our strenuous drive. Our musical selection, provided mainly by Jenn’s iPod, included, “The Lord of the Rings” soundtrack and “Enya.” Like the perfect pairing of food and wine, we took in majestic slopes set to beautiful melody.

During our journey, we made a slight detour and visited one of my other best friends in Alberta, Canada. Sheri. Sheri lives in a rural farming town a few hours outside of any major city. This was my first time visiting her and I felt so blessed by the warm welcome from her and her family and friends. Sheri’s boyfriend treated us to warm crepes hot off the griddle that first morning we were in town. Later in the day, we visited Sheri’s family and barbequed in the backyard. Sheri then surprised us with free horseback riding lessons that afternoon! I’d like to pause here and mention how much I love horses! It’s been a dream of mine to ride horses out in the country and after this experience, I’m hooked. I’d like to take lessons in the near future. (Thank you, Sheri.) It was bittersweet saying goodbye to my Canadian friend; thankfully, I knew that just a few weeks later we’d meet up in San Diego.

Many surprises were in store for us on this trip. Each day, we saw wild animals—animals I had only ever seen in magazines or on TV. Mountain sheep, mountain goats, buffalo, deer, caribou and moose all ventured out on or near the highway. I was so impressed by the rugged terrain and the creatures that call it home.

During our trip, there was one experience that stands out in my mind as having been miraculous. Upon leaving Alberta, we drove 11 hours to our next campsite, a near-empty state park with no towns or neighborhoods or gas stations within 100 miles or more. Darkness encroached as we pulled up to our muddy campsite at the end of a narrow dirt drive. Jenn and I gathered our food out of the U-Haul first, as we were anxious to start cooking a warm meal. Meanwhile, Ken jumped in the back of the truck to change from his shorts into pants, with mosquitos swarming all around us. While Jenn headed to the restroom, I went to the back of the truck to grab supplies. At that moment, I heard Ken yell, just seconds after closing the sliding metal door to the back of U-Haul and latching the hardened steel alloy padlock in place.

“Oh no!” he agonized. “I just locked our keys into the back of the U-Haul.”

His face burning with remorse, I asked him, “What are we going to do?”

All of our camping supplies, our belongings, and now our car keys and padlock keys were trapped behind the shiny metal door in front of us.

“I need to find bolt cutters or a way into the truck,” he continued. “I’ll start walking.”

Jenn returned in time to hear what had happened. Feelings of fear, confusion, regret, and anxiety hovered like a thick cloud. As Ken headed out, Jenn asked, “Can we all pray together? Let’s pray.” Our situation warranted it. The three of us held hands and asked God to please intervene in our situation and send help. We felt completely helpless.

After praying, Ken headed off in the direction of the main road. A few minutes after he was out of sight, a truck filled with male workers from an oil refinery or farm drove up next to our U-Haul. Uncomfortable by their loud music and conversation, I told Jenn that I didn’t understand why they parked by us. We were located at the end of a muddy road, with nothing to see nearby. Also, I had no idea where they had come from, really. It seemed like the making of a bad situation. Jenn tried to assure me that we’d be fine, but I felt a growing discomfort settling deep in my stomach as the minutes passed. “God, please help Ken to come back soon,” I whispered. Right then, I noticed the figure of a man in the distance walking toward us, as the fog rolled in.

It was Ken. He was back. He had found bolt cutters.

Our hearts quickly lifted as Ken told us the story of how the first person he found directed him to another guy, a man nearby who had bolt cutters just lying on the tire of his truck. Ken thanked that man and then asked the other guy if he could borrow the bolt cutters. Then, he walked back to our campsite. At that point, the truckload of slaphappy guys left. In summary, Ken located bolt cutters within about 10 minutes from the point that he left us and was able to easily snap our thick padlock in about two clamps.

And that is how God totally blew our minds with His ability to provide for us in the most desolate of circumstances.

We were out in the middle of nowhere. There were only a handful of campers in or around our area; most likely just ‘passing through’ like us. But God was there. Right there--in our midst. He answered our prayer. Praise Jesus.

From then on, the three of us felt so encouraged as we continued our drive along the Alcan. We even got to Ken’s parents’ home near Anchorage sooner than expected, and were welcomed with an amazing seafood dinner and the love of family and friends excited to have us in town. What an incredible adventure and testimony of God’s provision! It feels great to start this new season in Alaska knowing that God is the One who provides for us.

Here are some photos from our travels throughout Canada and the first couple days in Alaska. You can click on each photo to enlarge. Enjoy!