Baby on Board: Our Seattle Adventures!

 

Last week, we flew from Anchorage to Seattle to visit our dear friends and family who live in the area. This was baby girl's first plane ride and after scouring the internet for all traveling-with-baby checklists, I felt ready to take on this trip. Ruby did great on the flight over (it was a red-eye) and she slept the bulk of it. Our flight home, on the other hand, was pretty challenging. Ruby scream-cried multiple times, and I almost cried, as I couldn't figure out how to console her. Ken and I alternated between circuits of bouncing her up and down, nursing, coddling, and encouraging naps. Thankfully, the passengers around us had children of varying ages, and seemed to understand. Honestly, this first big trip with baby felt sort of like a hazing experience. Traveling with a newborn is not glamorous but I can now say with confidence that I learned valuable lessons. One of which, is that taking a baby out of their routine can result in loss of sleep for one or more parents and/or children. It is best to know this going in to things, and I hope to be more realistic about expectations in the future.

All that to say, we had a wonderful time seeing my cousin Isaac and his wife, Kristina, my Aunt Linda and Aunt Joy, along with our close friends who live in Seattle. As we were flying over the city, preparing to land, I caught myself breathing out the words, "I'm home" and experienced a moment of intense joy and nostalgia, realizing quickly that Seattle still holds a special place in my heart. This is the city where Ken and I lived when we were dating. We shared our first apartment together on Capitol Hill after we got married, and then moved to the U-District when Ken got into the University of Washington. He and I biked all around the city, hiked and camped in the surrounding wilderness, and enjoyed so many great meals at local eateries. We built intentional community with our neighbors, friends, and church through weekly gatherings, game nights, dinner parties, and rendezvous at the park. Jumping off the dock at Lake Washington, playing late-night boardgames with friends, taking long walks through downtown - these are some of my best memories from our time living there. I feel so blessed to have spent a good part of my twenties in Seattle.

Perhaps this trip to Seattle instigated the conversation that Ken and I now find ourselves pursuing: Do we want to move back to the Pacific Northwest? And if so, would it be a year from now? Two years, or more? Ken has always had such a heart for building relationship and living close to dear friends. This is a vision that I've shared with him, but I never thought that it would potentially look like a move to Spokane, Washington, where my cousins live. Until now, that is. As we prayerfully consider if this might become a reality for us in the coming year(s), both of us want to take our time in landing on a decision. It gets us excited, though, at the thought of living near Isaac and Kristina and raising our children together, and also being close to Seattle and all our friends there. Also, flights from Seattle are much cheaper than flights from Anchorage, and that is another plus as we consider how we might continue to visit family in Alaska and Hawaii on a regular basis.

Alaska is still our home for now, and we are thankful for this gift of being near Ken's family. We look forward to continuing to share our adventures as we live in this grand state, and travel outside of it from time to time. Here are some photos of our recent trip to Seattle. Thank you so much to our friends and family who hosted and hung out with us!

Week 35: Is this Nesting or am I Going Crazy?

What was I thinking? I asked myself yesterday, as I straddled one foot on the bathtub ledge and the other on the toilet seat cover, trying to unhook our mildew-stained shower curtain for laundering purposes - left foot wobbling, right foot slipping.

Then again, while down on 'all fours', scrubbing furiously and painstakingly reaching for the far corners of the bathtub - maneuvering my giant belly into the most awkward of positions, the thought came to me, "Why did I wait until I'm 35 weeks pregnant to do all the chores I've been avoiding?"

Five loads of laundry.
Deep-cleaning the bathroom.
Vacuuming the house.
Organizing the nursery.
Reviewing our finances.
Hosting friends.

I can say with pride that I slept amazingly last night. I was so physically exhausted from all my cleaning, organizing, and rearranging.

Is this the "Nesting" instinct? The term I've heard about and never quite understand. Or am I going crazy?

A smirk takes shape, as I recall my bout of absentmindedness this morning. While taping up a flat rate box, just moments ago, I snipped the skin on my left index finger, rather than the strip of packaging tape I intended to cut. As I watched the blood pool near my incision, a wave of nausea passed over me. I told myself to calm down, rather than drop down to my knees, which felt like the most reasonable reaction at that point.

I need to be strong for my baby, I voiced internally, as I sat down and bandaged my cut.

In many ways, this past week of pregnancy has been rather difficult. My emotions, triggered easily by the slightest situation, have been marked by waves of sadness and feeling overwhelmed. On Sunday, Ken and I spent six hours in a birthing class at the local hospital. Our instructor was awesome, and I enjoyed taking in her wisdom and insights. I was blown away by how incredible the female body is. We watched videos of live births and walked through the different stages of labor from start to finish. In my excitement, I cried each time a baby was born on the big screen, and felt both encouraged and challenged by the opportunity to have our baby without the use of painkillers. Many of the women in the class were hoping for the same outcome as me, and it was cool to practice pain-management techniques (positions, breathing exercises) with our partners. Ken and I found ourselves laughing and joking, as I moved through varying birthing positions and tried to keep in sync with breathing exercises. It was fun seeing the different options for how women work through the intensity of contractions.

After class, despite the exciting things we had just learned, I broke down crying. I couldn't stop crying. It was so much to take in, all at once.

Eventually, I did stop crying and was able to process through many of my feelings. It's true - I'm so excited to birth this baby inside of me. I can't wait to meet her and see her beautiful face for the first time. I'm also scared - more scared than I've been in a long, long time. Sometimes, I feel overwhelmed by the thought of how I'll get through the contractions, and grapple with whether I can manage the pain without an epidural. I vacillate between a deep sense of idealism and realism.

Another struggle that I've been constantly giving to the Lord in prayer is my fear that I'll allow myself to be defined by the expectations of others. I've noticed in this whole experience of being pregnant, that it is much like being engaged. Everyone - friends, family, coworkers, and even random strangers (like the middle-aged food server at Costco who flamboyantly screamed, "It's going to hurt like hell!" to me the other week, in referencing childbirth) - has an opinion, and many people want to share their opinion whether it's asked for or not. I'm surprised, I guess, by how people often think there's a 'one-size-fits-all' method for pregnancy, or anything in life. As a wedding planner, I can attest to every wedding I've coordinated being uniquely different in the bride/groom's needs, desires, and even in their obstacles/setbacks. You can only plan so much, and then things take their course - often in way that's not expected. It's important to be prepared, but that only goes so far.

My Birth Plan is pretty simple: have a healthy baby and do it as "naturally" as possible. Beyond that, I want to practice peace and pursue faith and trust that God's in control, especially if/when my pain feels out of control.

In many ways, I hope to be an example to my daughter - even now, of living life with open hands, in joyful expectation of God's goodness, accepting setbacks as an opportunity to grow and make peace with things I may never understand.

Week #36, I think I'm officially ready for you now.